I’ve struggled with the spirit of negativity. In the past, I’ve been let down so many times that I developed the mindset of not having hopes or getting excited about anything, so if it doesn’t work out it won’t make a difference. It's reflected on other people's moods and when they would tell me something they want to do that doesn't sound "realistic" I'll shut it down to prevent them from heartbreak (in my mind), and I was too on the realism side that it stopped me from dreaming, myself, but I realized. … you are what you speak, and being realistic is the most common way to mediocrity.
I’m also not a sensitive person, so sometimes it was hard for me to empathize or understand why people were crying over something so minor. But I had to realize just because it was minor to me doesn’t mean its not a big deal, and if you care about a person whatever they deem important should be just as important to you. I feel some of the events I’ve been through in my life I chose to go to the side of closing myself off, not expressing my feelings, pushing everything to the back burner instead of facing my inner demons. I’m not the most social person, some people don’t know that about me, I’d rather be to myself ,but I think God gave me the ministry of people. My dad and I say, “ we don’t like people, but we love people.” Meaning I don’t really want to go out and mix and mingle but I have a deep love and passion for humanity. Like I honestly, as cliche as it sounds, wholeheartedly want to change the world. I want the best for every person, I see the goodness in everyone, hence "good girl", even if I don’t know you I want you to succeed. & Best believe, if I can do anything to help your success I will. So I realized if I want to help others I have to come across more approachable and warm or I can't help anyone, especially if they don’t feel comfortable enough to even talk to me. So I started to pray everyday and went on a strictly water fast. "God help me to come across genuine, I don’t want to come across unrelatable or fake, but I want them to feel me for me. I don’t have to be everyone's best friend, but I do need to smile more. I want you to help me cultivate other women’s minds, help them understand they are more important than anything & their self worth is invaluable, so they never have to experience the dark space I was once in." So God gave me the platform “Bring Her Back: The Good Girl Movement” and girls have been coming up to me left and right about their aspirations and dreams and I nearly shed a tear every time because this is what I prayed and fasted for. Nothing fills me more than helping black women reach their goals. Now, I'm helping other girls to help others and its just ongoing cycle, and it all started with a vision God gave me. & I couldn't be more thankful that He chose me.