As Women We Have To Stop...

As women we have to stop giving him everything too early, so there’s nothing for him to work for…

 

Let’s speak as if relationships were jobs. In most cases, in the work field a major accomplishment/goal is a promotion…

Why would a company promote someone that’s already doing the job exceptionally well with no pay?

 

Sometimes in relationships we have to gradually do things. We expect more from them because we start the giving in the relationship too early expecting them to eventually return the kindness without our asking, but when it never happens we get mad...Then it turns into years down the line and nothing changes and that's because we set up the relationship to be that way...off rip.

Why would he start stepping up to the plate if he never had to? Its like when a new principal comes to a school she starts off a little more stern to get everyone’s respect, then she relaxes once they understand her role but if she started vice versa no one would take her seriously …same kind of thing… if we start off doing everything we can’t be upset when they don’t step up.

As women we show in our actions how we feel about the person…

Ask yourself this question, “Would he ever do this for me?”

Trust, I’ve done this too and ended up irritated once I realized that I wasn’t quite sure of the answer…

Keep it a stack with yourself… We have to start taking hints. In most cases these “aint ***t niggas” show themselves true way before we really realize… Pick up on the hints.. from the way he texts and calls you.. and his sense of urgency to see or talk to you.

Is his phone always attached to his hip? Is he always on social media?

Some people can look it as over-analyzing, but its just trying to really understand the type of person you’re dealing with, so down the line you aren’t wasting time… of course no one is perfect but there’s certain things we shouldn’t have to put up with.. .we are too young… and we aren’t married so we don’t have to stick it out… but at the same time, sometimes I confuse myself with when is enough enough or when is it too early to throw in the towel? Its hard because we are young trying to mature and find our way together, but as soon as your happiness is being compromised its time to let go. If you feel like you're losing yourself its never that serious. You have to save yourself first, before your relationship. Choose you.

No man is more important than your sanity.

Be careful because its dangerous when you start feeling depressed letting this man be able to ruin your whole day by just one statement he said. Or maybe he’s making you lose sight of your wants and stop thriving to dream. … You have to always be in control of you..

How does he treat people that he doesn’t have to be nice to, things like that shows their true character? How does he treat waiters and retail workers?

Is he only nice to people who can do something for him…

God has made it so everyone has an assignment, and you need everyone no one is more important than anyone else.. For example: how disgusting would life be if we had no sanitation workers…

Does he post his whole life on social media but you never make the cut? I know people say “its just IG” but is it really? In our generation social media is the way we connect.. the way we see what’s going on in the world around us… its important to us.. so if we are exclusive enough for us to be participating in “exclusive activities”  you should be able to show me off to your friends and family like the pair of shoes you just shared on your feed…Social media is a big deal and don’t let him twist your mind into feeling otherwise… how important are you to him?

We can’t expect him to “wife” us if we are already doing wifely duties without having the title. He won’t ever “promote” you because for what? And technically, that means you're bending over backwards for someone that’s allowed to have their cake and eat it too…

Again: we also have to check ourselves because sometimes we only want to see their flaws and we don’t wanna see our own

What do you bring to the table?  Also, what you bring to the table may not always be good. All of this goes both ways…