Protect Your Vibe

The best piece of advice I’ve ever heard was from a total stranger, while I was standing
in line at the bookstore. We were making “small talk” and right before she proceeded to check
out she told me “protect your aura, vibes transfer.” When I first heard this I didn’t think it
applied to me. I was a freshman in high school and I felt like I knew everything. I was under
the assumption that the people whom I entered high school with would remain my friends
through senior year. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I realized not everyone is
meant to have a permanent spot in my life because of their toxic nature.
I’m sure some of you have heard of the woman who urged her boyfriend to commit
suicide. On July 12, 2014, Michelle Carter repeatedly encouraged her boyfriend, Conrad Roy to
kill himself through text messages. He eventually commited suicide by inhaling carbon
monoxide. Although both teens had a history of mental illness, prosecutors state that Carter
wants to portray herself as the “the grieving girlfriend” in order to get attention and sympathy.
She took advantage of Roy’s vulnerable state and used it for personal gain. The aggressor in
these types of relationships often manipulate others to make it seem as if they are being
treated poorly. There are many other situations similar to the Carter-Roy case, many having
tragic results. In my case, the toxic relationship resulted not in death, but the end of a long
friendship.
For me, the Michelle Carter was my best friend. Our friendship started off great. We
would hang out, stay up late talking and just vibe together. I remember one of our FaceTime
calls that lasted six hours! We didn’t even talk about much because we honestly just enjoyed
each other’s company. As the friendship continued, she began to be less supportive and would
constantly put me down. During our junior year, I remember working really hard on a project
that got approved. One of the first people that I told was her and all she responded back was
“cool”. After all of the times that I would encourage and congratulate her, I was heartbroken
that this was all she had to say.. Here was the girl I constantly supported, and when it was time
for her to be there for me she wasn’t. It got to the point where I started feeling like I was being
too needy because I wanted her to care for and support me. She had a way of turning her
incompetence as a friend on me, to make it seem like I was problem. She would tell me that I
expected “too much” out of our friendship. Our tense friendship made it hard for me to keep
the relationships that I had with other people healthy, because she began to rub off on me. I
found myself not trusting people who I’d been friends with for years. I had built up so much
hurt that I would “pop off” on anyone. It was almost as if I had this giant storm cloud hanging
over me.
Eventually I had to cut her off, which was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to
do. I was so scared because she had become such a big part of my high school experience and I didn’t know what it would be like without her. Even though she was my right hand girl, I had to stop trying to keep a dying friendship alive. I needed to stop putting effort into someone who neglected my feelings. Though it was hard to do, I can say that it was a blessing. Letting go of our friendship pushed me to grow. Don’t just stay in relationship because it’s what you’re used to. If the relationship is toxic or holding on by a thread, let it go. I know it might be terrifying, especially when you’ve invested so much time and energy into that person and the
relationship, but it’s better for you and everyone around you if let the toxicity go. You’ll feel
yourself grow and you’ll be able to achieve so much more!