Let Me Cater to Me

The Power of Saying No in Your Relationship

It’s amazing to finally find someone you’re into and love being around. The two of you embark on a relationsfhip because you clearly see potential in where the relationship can go or what the relationship can bring.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the person you’re now involved with and it’s so easy for you to forget about other components of your life. For some, finding this person seemed like it would never happen, so you think it’s important to make sure you do everything in your power to keep the relationship thriving.

It’s important for you to let them know you are there for them every step of the way; you’re open to doing and being everything your partner wants and needs. I get it.  We’ve all been there.

But it’s also important for us to realize that we still must take care of ourselves and we still have to be capable of saying no. It’s important not to overextend yourself in your relationship and stand your ground.

It’s ok, to say “no I can’t hang out today I have to finish my paper” or “no I cannot pop lock and drop it tonight because I am exhausted”. There is no fun in feeling forced or obligated to do a certain task. We can’t be everything to anyone or everyone.

We can barely be everything for ourselves. You should be able to say no whenever you don’t want to do something for your partner and that should be ok. There will come a time when the roles will reverse, and they will have to say no to you. We have to put ourselves first in order for the relationship to thrive.

If we’re constantly overextending ourselves physically, mentally, and financially there will come a time where we are drained and frustrated. You can’t pour from an empty cup and because you’ve never said no, they’ll be expecting you to.

Set boundaries and stick to what you value while you’re in a relationship. This can help your partner learn who you are and what’s important to you. It’s important for your partner to know they have someone who takes care of themselves and puts themselves first. This gives you both a chance and time to focus on your passions and other goals without having to constantly take care of your partners wants and needs. It’s also a relief to know you have someone who isn’t a liability but an asset.

Whenever we are saying no in our relationship, we should be communicating why, so that our partner further understands us and doesn’t feel abandoned. When our partner knows where we are coming from with our decision it’s easier for them to understand instead of feeling a lack of inclusivity or support within the relationship. Saying no is not saying no to the relationship, just one part of it. Saying no is saying yes to you and your partner living your truths and being free to truly love and know one another.