Lessons in Choosing Yourself: What Chelley Bissainthe Taught Us About Love, Loyalty, and Living Unapologetically
Chelley’s experience was a masterclass for Black Women.
When Chelley Bissainthe stepped into the Love Island USA villa this summer at 27, she didn’t walk in hoping to be chosen. She walked in knowing she was the pick. From the moment she entered, Chelley moved with a kind of clarity that Black women know intimately, the kind that doesn’t beg to be seen, but refuses to be ignored.
She was radiant. She was direct. She was intentional. Most importantly, she didn’t shrink herself to fit into anyone’s storyline. Chelley had her picks, and she made that known. She wasn’t afraid to pivot, to walk away, or to start fresh. In a space that often sidelines Black women or casts us as the strong friend, the sidekick, or the afterthought, Chelley chose herself. Over and over again.
Her journey wasn’t just about romance, it was about reclamation. It was about showing up fully, even when the space wasn’t built for you and it was about teaching every Black woman watching that choosing yourself is not just an option, it’s the assignment.
She Was the Catch—And She Knew It. Be selfish with yourself.
Chelley was the catch and not just because she was beautiful, though she absolutely was. It was the way she carried herself. The way she made decisions. The way she didn’t entertain what didn’t feel aligned. From Austin to Chris to Ace, Chelley was consistently pursued and she didn’t just sit back and wait.. she evaluated, she redirected, and she chose.
Austin showed interest early, drawn to her confidence and poise. Chris made his move, recognizing her energy and presence. And Ace.. flashy and full of charisma ultimately became the one Chelley bonded with the most. Their connection wasn’t perfect, but it was real. It had depth, chemistry, and a rhythm that made sense for them. Chelley chose Ace. Not because he was the easiest option, but because he matched her energy in a way that stuck.
By the time they left the villa, they were exclusive. At the reunion, Chelley confirmed they were still figuring things out, waiting for the gesture that would make it official. Ace, true to form, promised something big. But Chelley had already made the most important move—she chose herself first, and then she chose the man who met her there.
Lesson for Black women: You are not too much. You are not too late. You are not hard to love. You are the prize and you get to choose who’s worthy of your time. Being pursued is flattering, but being intentional is powerful.
27 and Right On Time
There was a lot of conversation online about Chelley’s age. At 27, she was older than most of her castmates, and some folks had the nerve to question whether she was “too old” for the villa. However, Chelley’s presence was the answer. She reminded us that Black women deserve love at every age. That our stories don’t expire. That our beauty doesn’t fade. That our power only deepens.
She didn’t try to compete with younger contestants. She didn’t try to prove she was still “in the game.” She simply showed up as herself, seasoned, self-aware, and stunning. In doing so, she gave permission to every Black woman watching to do the same.
There’s a lie society tells us; that if we haven’t found love by a certain age, we’ve missed our moment. Chelley shattered that lie with every step she took in the villa. She was radiant, desired, and deeply self-assured. She didn’t apologize for her age (27 isn’t even old) she wore it like a crown.
Lesson for Black women: You are not on anyone’s timeline but your own. Love doesn’t have a deadline. Joy doesn’t have an expiration date. You are always in season. Your age is not a liability, it’s your leverage.
Loyalty in the Villa: The Olandria Bond
Chelley’s friendship with Olandria Carthen was one of the most affirming relationships in the villa. While their personalities were different—Olandria more reserved, Chelley with fire, their bond was rooted in loyalty, laughter, and shared experience.
They weren’t just friends. They were mirrors. They held each other down when the villa got messy. They checked in, checked out, and checked each other when needed. They were each other’s safe space in a setting that often felt performative and isolating..
Their friendship wasn’t performative. It was protective and it reminded us that Black women don’t just survive, we hold each other through the storm.
For the fans that try to rip these two from this loving friendship, it won’t work. Because Black girlhood and friendship is stronger than STAN WARS (yes we had to clock y’all).
Lesson for Black women: Sisterhood is sacred. Loyalty is revolutionary. Protecting each other is not optional—it’s ancestral. You don’t have to be the same to stand beside each other. You just have to be committed.
One of the Villa Confidants: Holding Space Without Being Held
Chelley wasn’t the only confidant in the villa but she was one of the most consistent. Whether it was drama, doubt, or decision-making, islanders came to her for clarity. She listened. She advised. She held space. And she did it with a kind of emotional steadiness that made her feel like a safe place.
But here’s the thing: Black women are often expected to be that safe place. To mother. To mentor. To manage the emotional temperature of a room. While Chelley did it gracefully, it’s worth asking.. who held her?
Because while she was offering advice, helping others navigate their feelings, and showing up with maturity, she wasn’t always met with the same energy. She wasn’t always protected. She wasn’t always poured into and that imbalance is familiar to so many of us.
Chelley’s role in the villa mirrored a larger truth: Black women are often asked to be the emotional backbone of a space, even when that space doesn’t offer us softness in return. We’re expected to be strong, wise, and available but rarely allowed to be vulnerable, messy, or held.
Yet, Chelley didn’t let that define her. She gave what she had, but she didn’t give it all away. She set boundaries. She chose herself. And she reminded us that being a confidant doesn’t mean being a container.
Lesson for Black women: You can be wise without being worn out. You can hold space without being hollowed out. You deserve reciprocity, not just responsibility. Being the strong one is not your only role. You are allowed to be held, too.
Facing Racism, Responding with Power
Chelley didn’t leave the villa untouched by the ugliness that often follows Black women in public spaces. She faced racist hate online; comments, attacks, and the kind of vitriol that reality TV still hasn’t figured out how to protect us from. But Chelley didn’t stay silent. She spoke up. She denounced the racism publicly, called out the silence from those who claimed to be close, and made it clear that she would not tolerate being disrespected or dehumanized.
Her response wasn’t just about defending herself, it was about setting a precedent. About showing that Black women don’t have to endure harm quietly. That we can clap back, call it out, and still keep our crown intact.
She didn’t let the hate define her. She let her response do the talking and in doing so, she reminded us that grace doesn’t mean silence and dignity doesn’t mean passivity.
Lesson for Black women: You don’t have to be graceful when you’re being harmed. You don’t have to be quiet to be respected. You are allowed to protect your peace loudly. Your voice is not a liability, it’s your liberation.
Chelley Is Thriving—What Did We Learn?
Since leaving the villa, Chelley has been thriving. She’s been hosting events, modeling, building her brand, and showing up in spaces that weren’t built for her—but now have to make room. She celebrated her 28th birthday in New York City surrounded by love, luxury, and legacy. She’s still exclusive with Ace. She’s still close with Olandria and she’s still choosing herself.
Chelley didn’t just survive Love Island. She redefined it.
So now we ask: What did you learn from Chelley? Did you learn that you’re allowed to be the catch? That you’re allowed to be in your late 20’s/early 30’s and radiant? That you’re allowed to choose yourself, even when the world tells you not to?
Because Chelley did. And she’s not looking back.
If you saw yourself in Chelley, honor that. If you felt seen by her, say that. And if you’re ready to choose yourself, do that. Because love, legacy, and loyalty are waiting and you are right on time.
